What Catholics Really Believe About Contraception…Part 2

Wow. I had so many fantastic comments and questions on my previous post. If you missed any of it, you can read the post about the HHS mandate here, and you can read the first part of this post here. Thank you everyone for taking time to read my thoughts, and most importantly, keeping the dialogue going with your poignant and respectful comments and questions. As promised, I am going to address some of the comments and questions from my readers. I spoke with Fr. John Riccardo on some of these matters to get more insight. A HUGE thank you to him for his support and words. So, here we go!

I want to start with a blanket statement. My first post on this issue was in response to a question from a reader. She wanted to know why Catholics felt the way they do about contraception. So, I wrote a post to inform people about what we think, and that was my real intention for the post. Of course, it sparked a lot of debate and further discussion about the morality and validity of these issues, and I am so glad it did. It means there is intelligent life on earth, and I am Internet friends with a lot of it! So, I guess what I’m trying to say is that I am more trying to help people understand what Catholics really think so you know a little bit more about us. I am not trying to persuade or judge or hash out moral arguments. But, if that happens in the process, let’s do it!

Questions and Comments from My Readers:
{some paraphrased}

As far as pain, the Church believes that a person has the right to take “appropriate remedies for pain and other symptoms so that they can live with dignity until the time of natural death” (Ethical and Religious Directives for Catholic Health Care Services).  


Also, a headache is a pathology problem.  Our society tends to view pregnancy the same way, which it is not. If you are pregnant, it means that sex worked the way it is supposed to. If you have a headache, then something is wrong.The problem that needs to be fixed is the idea that pregnancy is a disease or a condition when, in fact, it is the total opposite of that.


And for tattoos and hair dye,the Church has no moral objection to these things, but it does call us to remember that God loves us as we are. He isn’t hung up on what we look like.

Ultimately, these things do not interfere with life. They are quite different from killing an unborn child and therefore really cannot be compared to it in that way. 
 

A reader (and good friend!) said, “Birth control and Plan B stop a fertilized egg from attaching, it will not detach an already attached embryo.” And, I agree with this for sure. But, this is where the Catholic view comes in. The problem is that birth control and Plan B can stop a fertilized egg from attaching. As Catholics, we believe that life starts at conception and not implantation. So, if an egg has been fertilized, we believe it is a life, and creating a hostile environment or preventing that life from attaching we consider to be abortion. I also wanted to point to a little bit o’ science for good measure. So take a look at this for a bit more info. It’s a bit lengthy, but it has great, sound, research-based information.

I would also like to point you to these resources:
Embyro; A Defense of Human Life by Robert George
Sex au Naturel by Patrick Coffin

Well, again, as Catholics, we believe that at the moment of conception a human is created. So, not only do we feel it is important to focus on problems that “already birthed humans” are facing, we also want to protect and defend humans that are not yet birthed. We don’t believe that protecting and defending should only be limited to one group. We should protect and defend all life.

Totes Magotes! I agree with this comment as well. That is why the Catholic Church is not trying to take away birth control from the masses. All we wish is to be freed from the obligation of providing birth control, abortions and sterilizations when they are against our moral code. And, the HHS mandate as it is now would affect not only public institutions, but private ones as well. For those who are not Catholic, we ask for your support not on our stance on birth control, but rather we ask your support in keeping this country one that respects freedom of religion. Please fight for Catholic rights not because you agree or disagree with them, but because you value the freedoms we are supposed to have in our country. Help us out, friends! 

Yes! We are so much more! And, no, our sole purpose is not being a baby maker. That is why NFP exists. The Church realizes that there are many things that may cause a couple to put off having children (see below), so they offer NFP (99% effective) as a solution to that. However, using contraception in place of NFP opens up the possibility of the destruction of life, and that we do not jive with.

Me? I consider myself a mother, yes. But I am also a former teacher with a degree from a great university. Soon, I hope to get my Master’s and maybe even a PhD someday. I am a freelance writer and I love to sew. I am a voracious reader, and I consider myself to be pretty up to date on world issues. I love volunteering my time with my mom at a home for homeless, pregnant women and with my dad at various homeless shelters he runs. Mike and I love to travel and experience new things. We are pretty darn green and we try to eat organic wherever we can afford it. We love to give and we love to enjoy what we are given. We are so much more than baby makers.

This is very true. Catholics are called to have children if we can. What that means is different for every Catholic. That is why I mentioned that NFP should not be considered “birth control.” It can be used that way, yes, and very effectively. But, as I said before, we are called to have kids when we can. And, it is really nobody else’s conversation to have but you, your partner and God. There are tons of reasons that the Church feels are valid for not having children at any particular point in time: medical, emotional, financial, mental, etc. (And sidenote: I love the Dugger family and think that they are wonderful! I would never judge them. I stand up for them all the time! The graphic was meant as a little joke, and I’m sorry you didn’t find the humor in it.)

For the sake of this answer, I am just going to call these methods barrier methods. That way I am also covering all contraception similar to condoms.

Ok, so barrier methods. If you engage in sex and do anything before, during or after to prevent pregnancy, we are opposed because we place such value on the creation of life and the opportunity for a person to be born and make an impact on our world.

Even if you’re not Catholic and don’t buy that answer, there is reason to avoid barrier methods. These things also reduce sex to an act for pleasure only; but, our biology says it is something different. When we engage in sex, we become one biological reproducing organism. That makes sex a twofold process: unity of spouses and generation of new life.

Using sex for enjoyment takes away one major purpose of the act. In doing so, it also reduces the participants to an object for use. While we may not feel we are being used by our spouses, and they more than likely are not doing so, it creates a feeling that sex is purely for pleasure, and with pleasure comes boredom. Boredom forces people to constantly think of new ways to create that pleasure, and often leads to dissatisfaction.

Think of it this way (and this is not my wisdom, but I wish it was): There is a huge disparity between a one night stand and sex with a person who loves you. There is just as big of a disparity between sex with someone who loves you and sex that is open to life. Many people just are not aware of how great it really can be.

Finally, every act says something. A handshake says, “welcome”, a kiss shows affection. Sex says I’m all yours. With contraception, you are saying, “I am partially yours.”

And, check this book out: My Peace I Give You by Dawn Eden

8.  What about women who are physically unable to bear children? What are your words telling them?
This is good. I like this question. I want to be more specific in my argument that our purpose in life is to create life. Yes. As humans, our biggest purpose is to create life in order to create love. But, creating life does not necessarily mean birthing it. A woman who is in the unfortunate situation of not being able to bear children may be called to create life in a different way. It may be nurturing through adoption or fighting other “life” battles such as the death penalty, hunger or the like.

Now, it may seem that I am backpedaling here. You may think, well, if it is ok for a woman who is infertile to not have children and create life in other ways, why can a fertile woman not choose to do the same? I guess to that I have to refer you again to question #7. It’s what Catholics believe, which is what this dialogue is about anyway, right?

Also, just because a woman is infertile (or a person cannot find someone to marry and so on), does not decrease her value or her worth to God or our society. It is the situation she is in, and God calls her to other things.

9.  It doesn’t really seem fair to claim that feminism’s main goal should be to promote baby making over all of the many other wonderful and blessed gifts that women also have to offer. Can’t we have a happy marriage of the two without putting one above the others?
Ah. Another awesome question! The answer is YES! NFP is that happy marriage. You are staying open to the idea of life while still having a say in your own fertility and number of children. The best of both worlds all wrapped up in one!

I encourage you to read Pope John Paul II’s letter to women discussing their vocation and dignity. You can read it here.

Also, check out the Endow Bible Study on the topic.

10. Would God really want [people] to have children that they are unable to provide for, could be sold as child soldiers, or subjected to who knows what other catastrophes?
No. And God doesn’t ask that we do. That is why we are given the freedom to discern whether a child is right for us in any given life situation. And, if the situation is right, we are called to have them. Now, as far as those horrific situations, being pro-life isn’t just about saving the unborn. It is also about preventing and fighting these types of anti-life scenarios. So, as I said in #3, it isn’t about choosing one over the other. We protect the unborn, but are also called to protect those that are already here. 

While there are millions of caveats and special circumstances that come to play on the issue of fertility, Catholics feel that no matter any of these things, our mission is to protect life, from the womb to the tomb.

With all of that being said, we realize that there are as many world views as their are people on the planet. In our society, these varying views are hailed; however, Catholics often seem to be the point of ridicule and discrimination. We understand that many people do not share our beliefs, but we do wish that we would be extended the same courtesies that other groups are given. Catholics have not ever tried to force their beliefs on anyone. We can’t even if we wanted to. Separation of Church and state, remember? But, we will stand up for what we believe in, and we will do so loudly when our freedom to have a different world view is attacked.

And, thank you everyone for such an awesome discussion, particularity Maria who spurred this whole dialogue. I hope I answered all of your questions, but if you have more, or I forgot one that you wanted to see answered, please leave them in the comment section. I always try to respond. And, I hope you got a little glimpse into the mind of a Catholic.

Finally, whether you agree or disagree with us, you are always welcome to come here and ask questions and read my blog! I promise the posts aren’t always this heavy. In fact, just go and read this one right now.

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