I have to say I just didn’t know what I wanted to write about for today. So, I thought, “Jenna? Yes, Jenna? Jenna, what is something that you want to know more about? Well,I would love to know more about veiling. Ok, so research that and write about it. Ok.”
So, here are a some of my questions and zee answers I finded:
What is the origin of veiling?
You’ll hear 1 Corinthians 11:1-17 tossed around a ton when you’re looking up this subject.
Why did we stop?
According to fish eaters, after Vatican II, journalists asked if women would still be required to veil, and the response give was, “the issue is not being discussed.” That was misinterpreted to mean that it was no longer part of Catholic worship, and that was published in papers around the world. The matter was never addressed by the Church.
The 1983 Code of Canon Law never mentioned veiling, but it was not abrogated (meaning that it was not changed).
Why do women veil today?
I’ve gotten a lot of responses on this, but here is a little list for y’all:
- a deeper connection with Mary
- gives a physical reminder to focus
- less worry about vanity
- keeping with tradition
- representation of the fact that we are made in the Image and Likeness of God (thanks, Iris!)
- attending Latin Mass
- peer pressure
- out of respect for the Lord
- feel called by God
Why are some women hesitant?
A lot of people say that they get a “holier than thou” vibe from veilers. And, some people feel that they are not as approachable to people with questions/those outside the faith when wearing one.
When are you supposed to veil?
From what I understand, you are supposed to veil during Mass or any time you are in the presence of the Most Holy Sacrament. Many women also do so anytime they are in prayer.
Is it even practical to wear one when you have little children?
Those who I’ve asked said no. Most of my time is spent in the ring of the WWF and not in Mass. Some have suggested an infinity veil (pictured above), bobby pins of clips.
Do I have to buy an actual mantilla or can I just use a scarf?
You can use anything really. Women have used mantillas, hats, handkerchiefs, or regular scarves. Honestly, I think infinity scarves are the cure for anything. Veiling? Infinity scarf. Cold? Infinity scarf. Bland outfit? Infinity scarf. Nursing cover? Infinity scarf. Tourniquet? You get the idea.
Would I consider the practice and why?
Yes, I totally am considering it, and I have been for about six months now. I have been hesitant for the reasons listed above. I’m also on the fence because I am afraid that one of the big reasons I want to try is it because they are so beautiful. I’m going to go out on a limb and say that vanity is not a good enough reason.
I also get soooper distracted at Mass. “Oh, I like her shoes.” “I wonder if they are dating.” “If I was designing this church, I would not have picked that paint color.” A veil might be a good physical reminder to keep my eyes on my own song sheet.
But, another reason I am considering it is to have more solidarity with the Church. Let’s face it, we’re under a lot of fire these days. People are misunderstanding the Church and calling for her to change to fit common society. Not ganna happon. Wearing one would be my way of saying the Church has not changed in thousands of years, it will not change, and I want to acknowledge and stand with its history of tradition by wearing one.
Does that make sense?
But, on the other hand, I am not the most grace-filled Catholic out there. Far from it. I really need to do a better job of incorporating the faith into my daily diaper grind. I would feel like a bit of a fraud with a veil on.
I don’t know. Thoughts?
A Link Up
I don’t really do link-ups here. But, here’s the deal: if I pick a Sunday to try out a veil, would you do it with me? Then write up a little sumthin’ sumthin’ about your thoughts and feelings and fuzzies, and link it up here.
If there’s enough yays, I’ll go ahead with it. If not, we can just pretend this never happened.
Iris @ Country Girl's Daybook says
I sort of already wrote about it, but I didn’t expound on the mantilla part. I’d totally participate in the link up if my brain cooperates.
Do it! http://callherhappy.com/mantilla-link-up-deets/
I veil (or wear a hat) every Sunday, and you know I’m always taking pictures of what I wear, plus there is rarely a link-up I DON’T do :P
Woo hoo! Let’s do it! http://callherhappy.com/mantilla-link-up-deets/
Amanda @ worthy of Agape says
LOVE this, and I think you do a great job of explaining everything. I will say that even in the few weeks I’ve been veiling (I too had been debating for months before diving in), I’ve felt a solidarity of sorts with the other ladies who veil. I feel like I have new friends, even if we never say a word. Plus, a number of people have thanked me for my witness…I find that odd, but whatever. I’m TOTALLY down for a link up. Like a WIWS post, only What Mantilla I Wore Sunday? WMIWS? I love the infinity scarf, though I don’t own one…and based on your words I feel the need to own one instantly. :)
Also…the mantilla I bought was one at a local Catholic store. I wanted to make sure I really did want to veil before spending more on a pretty/comfortable one, ya know?
Totally know what you mean. I want that one from Etsy, but I want to make sure I will commit to it first :) Here are the details: http://callherhappy.com/mantilla-link-up-deets/
I’ve been toying with this very same thought! I was married 8 months ago and suddenly started thinking about dressing modestly. It’s been surprisingly easy to make a few changes to my clothes – like throwing a shrug over a sleeveless dress to cover my shoulders or choosing to wear skirts that hit below the knees instead of short shorts this summer. We’re expecting our first child in a couple of months and I’ve felt a stronger connection with the Virgin Mary. One way of expressing that would be to wear a veil at mass. Like you, I worry that I would be doing it for aesthetic reasons (it is sooo much fun to wear pretty scarves!). I also wouldn’t want to advertise myself as ‘holier than thou’ since we’ve just moved to a new state and a new parish. Isn’t it funny that the idea of reviving such an old tradition in the Catholic Church makes me worried that I’d come across as a snob? I still think it’s a wonderful tradition that I would like to be a part of, but because I’m so hesitant over how I would be perceived if I tried it that I don’t think I’m quite ready to wear the veil.
Thought provoking topic!
If you want to experiment, here are some details! http://callherhappy.com/mantilla-link-up-deets/
It doesn’t hurt to try it, right? If you find that it was almost impossible to wear while wrangling the kids then wait a few years and try again.
If I was catholic I would link up with you but since I’m not, I will support you with prayer :)
Thank you :) And, if you want to write a post about an outsider perspective, you’re welcome to join us! http://callherhappy.com/mantilla-link-up-deets/
I will if you will – lots of good thoughts. I agree that an infinity scarf is the way to go, it looks so much more natural. You’re outwardly looking pretty much in style with everyone else sporting beautiful scarves and accessories, but there’s enough of a difference to remind yourself and the observant around you that you are in a special place. The idea that we are carrying forward in a visible symbol that the Church is unchanging is a compelling enough reason for me to start considering it too :)
Here are the deets! http://callherhappy.com/mantilla-link-up-deets/
Andi at Bringing the Sunshine says
In principle, I think it’s awesome. In practice, I might start twitching remembering all of the ladies with doilies on their heads at my in-laws (anti-Catholic) church. :)
If you ever want to give it a try, here are some details I wrote up! http://callherhappy.com/mantilla-link-up-deets/
I fell pretty much like you on it. I think I would like to wear a veil (infinity scarf) b/c they are so pretty…and I would feel like I was saying “look at me look at me!!” wearing it. I think Jennifer Fulwiler’s post (http://www.conversiondiary.com/2013/02/notes-from-beneath-the-veil.html) was pretty good on this though…I guess I just don’t want to be the only one at my parish wearing one PLUS I’d feel kind of superior wearing it. Le sigh.
I love Jen’s post on it! Here are some details: http://callherhappy.com/mantilla-link-up-deets/
Not a huge fan of the mantilla in general, but I think if you discern it and feel called to it and it helps YOU understand that awesome wonder of the Mass…then go for it! Oh, and they are pretty :)
Even if you don’t want to veil, you could write a post about why you don’t. You’re always so well-spoken! http://callherhappy.com/mantilla-link-up-deets/
I started a Facebook group years ago for women who veil at Mass. It’s pretty active. I’m sure a couple of them would love to blog with you. Check it out: http://facebook.com/groups/2216976313
I requested to join the group :) I can share the details with them too! Here: http://callherhappy.com/mantilla-link-up-deets/
Marisa@Mia Cucina, Mia Famiglia, Mia Vita says
I’ve been feeling the exact same way lately-I really want to veil at Mass, but even though we attend a fairly conservative church and I wouldn’t be the only woman veiling, I still worry about standing out or having that “holier than thou” vibe. I’m also struggling with the vanity aspect, as I think the mantilla veils are beautiful. :) So yeah…your post really resonated with me. Thanks for sharing!
If you want to link up, here are the details :) http://callherhappy.com/mantilla-link-up-deets/
I’ve veiled for a few years now and have used a wide variety of hats, scarves (usually up in a tichel type bun), and snoods. While now I always notice and pick out any other lady who does it I find that I barely notice my own now. It feels like second nature to make sure to grab the covering of the day before heading out to Mass and should I forget my head feels naked! As far as child friendly covers go, everything but my hats takes some effort to get off so we really haven’t had any issues so far!
While I understand the concerns about appearing “holier-than-thou”, for me personally it’s quite the opposite. Part of the reason I cover is humility and to keep that constant reminder of being in the presence of the Eucharist. What I’ve also learned from the past few years is that no one is nearly as interested in what is on your head as you are. Yes people will idly notice, just as someone would notice the color of your shoes or a nice dress, but most of the time it will be fleeting. The only comments I’ve ever gotten have been from women who have been curious about veiling and some of them decided to take it up afterwards (strength in numbers!). Granted that doesn’t stop some busy-body from being snide, but that’s their problem!
Good luck on your discernment journey!
Thanks so much! And, thank you also for your thoughts on this. Any perspectives I can get are totally welcome and appreciated :) If you want to link up with us, I would love that! Here are the details: http://callherhappy.com/mantilla-link-up-deets/
Melissa Cavaliere says
I chose to veil about a year ago, out of a calling I had felt for a very long time. Gotta say, it was TERRIFYING! Weird, huh? But really, the response from my family, those in the pew next to me who knew that this is a new thing and probably thought I was trying to appear more holy than thou, my priest- who was NOT supportive at all; all these things stopped me from veiling for years. One day I decided, hey Mary, if you want me to do this for your son, what can I do but obey? After the first cheek-flushed Mass with it on, I realized that it didn’t matter what they all thought, and all that was my vanity. I’ve never felt such a companionship with our Mother before that, and such focus and reverence for the Eucharist.
About the babies? They LOVE my veil. I have a 4 year old and a 6 month old, and sometimes gently playing with it is the only thing that gets them through. I’ve noticed they have more respect for mommy (at least the older one, lol), and don’t play with my face or bump me around. They see the veil over the tabernacle, and see the one over mommy’s head, and they recognize something special and beautiful about it.
Being a woman and a mother is so special, I heard it said once that we are the lifegivers, precious to God and our men. In sacred places we veil the sacred. The life God brings to us is sacred and beautiful, and it is with thankful love and reverence for that gift within us that we cover our heads, not for shame or because we are lowly, as some tend to believe.
We are also called to be humble and submissive to God and to our husbands (a term which has also been vilified in modern times. It is really a further perfection of our role as we try to emulate Mary and her submission to God’s holy will). The veil also serves as a visual symbol of the Church bride, and her submission to Christ the great bridegroom. Our participation in wearing it symbolizes the submission and participation of the Church in the marriage to God’s will.
If you can’t tell, I love being Catholic. 8 year convert, as of this last Easter :) I love the infinity veil, and you just inspired a new design for my winter knitting projects, thank you! Good luck in your journey finding the right veil. It’s tricky, but fun.
I love all of this! Your comment is awesome ;) And yes, I can totally tell how much you love the Church. That puts a big one on my face :) < see? If you want to link up with us, here are the details: http://callherhappy.com/7qt-picture-light/
Let me know if you have any questions!
Oops! Wrong post! Here it is: http://callherhappy.com/mantilla-link-up-deets/
Anabelle @Written By The Finger of God says
I have a lot of thoughts on veiling and did an post on it last year. But since you’re having a link-up, I’ll save it for then. And by the way, the reason I love your blog is not just cause its pretty and you’re funny but that you have so much love for the Church and the humility to learn more about her.
That is one of the nicest compliments I have ever received. You can’t see my face, but it is like this: :))))))))
(Found your blog through the Quick Takes link-up!)
“I’m also on the fence because I am afraid that one of the big reasons I want to try is it because they are so beautiful.” I had to laugh reading this, because I feel the exact same way! Every now and then I wonder if I should try veiling, and I’m not going to lie, this is one of the big (unspoken) reasons …. in fact, it is one of the few reasons I can articulate, because I don’t believe that women necessarily “have” to wear the veil because of 1 Corinthians, and I don’t attend Latin Mass, so … why would I consider this again, other than vanity??
But I think you also hit the nail on the head when you wrote about wearing the veil as an expression of solidarity with the Church. That helped clarify some thoughts for me. I still don’t know if I will ever veil, but I am more open to doing so than I have been in the past.
Give it a try! I would totally love to hear your thoughts now that you said all of this :)
I started wearing a veil after a talk I attended that was given by Fr. Robert J. Fox (now deceased), of the Fatima Family Apostolate. He explained many of the issues covered in your article about following the example of modesty and humility of the Mother of Our Lord and the fact that Vatican II didn’t call for ending the tradition but that the liberal movement, both inside and outside of the church had a large part to play in convincing us that the church had discontinued the practice. After hearing Fr. Fox’s talk the handful of women in our small prayer group agreed to start wearing a head cover for Mass and any time we were in the presence of Our Lord in the Eucharist. Well the next morning I looked through every scarf I owned but everything seemed to brightly colored or handkerchief-like so I finally knelt and asked the Blessed Virgin that, “If it is your will and the will of God that I take up this practice, to please help me find something fitting to wear. Then I decided to go through my dresser drawers for the third time, but after opening the top drawer…there in the center, on top of everything else was, of all things, a black mantilla scarf!!! I couldn’t believe my eyes!!! After a moment of disbelief and shock… I fell to my knees (which didn’t take too much effort because they were feeling very weak anyway :) Needless to say I’ve been wearing a mantilla ever since (About 7 or 8 years now) I’ve had to replace the original one that I to this day am not sure were it came from; other then by what seems to have been an affirmative answer and miraculous gift from Our Blessed Mother/ The Women clothed with the sun!!!
Here is a link to what I feel is a wonderful website that you should really check out and pray to the Holy Spirit for discernment over. http://www.locutions.org/ I think you will be very moved, grateful, awed and amazed!!! God bless you. To Jesus through Mary!!!
A couple of years ago at my wedding (consolidation ceremony) my best friend wore a veil. We talked about it (by the way I converted years ago) what a mantilla is and why you might want to wear one. I haven’t thought too much about it since till the other night. Well today I purchased a simple mantilla. I think next time I go to mass I’m going to try wearing it. I have to admit though I’m leaning towards purchasing an infinity mantilla simply because during mass I’m usually contending with three children ages 11-3 yrs.
Lynnette Atkinson says
Halo, I am a recent convert and am in my 60s. Since joining the church, which I was also drawn to, I have felt a pull towards covering my head….and have always chickened out! The other day, a Friday, before attending Mass, I thought, with no further deliberation, I am going to cover my head. I have loads of scarves, which I love, now I know why I bought them all. So I did! I received some puzzled looks, the church roof did not fall in, and Father didn’t faint. So came Sunday, full church, me and my scarf, so again I went for it. More strange looks, no pointing or giggling though and no glaring that I saw.
Do you know what I found? I felt alone with God, me and my Father. I felt protected, not from danger of any kind, but protected to be myself: a woman, who is beloved for herself and everything that woman hood stands for. So wade in, please Him, He will help us to deal with whatever the fall out might be. God bless you, Lynnette