Gift from the Sea by Anne Morrow Lindbergh (affiliate) is on my reading list. My short list. A friend posted this excerpt from it de udder day, and it just touched me, ya know?
“When you love someone, you do not love them all the time, in exactly the same way, from moment to moment. It is an impossibility. It is even a lie to pretend to. And yet this is exactly what most of us demand. We have so little faith in the ebb and flow of life, of love, of relationships. We leap at the flow of the tide and resist in terror its ebb. We are afraid it will never return. We insist on permanency, on duration, on continuity; when the only continuity possible, in life as in love, is in growth, in fluidity – in freedom, in the sense that the dancers are free, barely touching as they pass, but partners in the same pattern.
The only real security is not in owning or possessing, not in demanding or expecting, not in hoping, even. Security in a relationship lies neither in looking back to what was in nostalgia, nor forward to what it might be in dread or anticipation, but living in the present relationship and accepting it as it is now. Relationships must be like islands, one must accept them for what they are here and now, within their limits – islands, surrounded and interrupted by the sea, and continually visited and abandoned by the tides.”
Mike and I are in a wonderful place right now, but it would be crazy to think that one day things won’t become trying. We’re married, and the way I see it is kind of like the buddy system. Those of us who are called to marriage are asked to pick a buddy to stay with until the trip is over. Even as our feelings change for that person, we are still required to stick with them, and make sure they are safe, accounted for, and ready for heaven.
So, even as feelings wax and wane, we still choose to love that person by recognizing that we are helping him get closer to God. And, choosing to see your spouse the way God sees him may just be the secret to choosing to stay in love.
Love it – the buddy system :-) What a good perspective.
Love everything about this! And now I want to read that book :)
Good post. Wise words and a good reminder to look at my marriage from this perspective.
I signed in wrong. I think. That there above is me. ;)
Country Girl's Daybook says
This is great, m’dear! I like the buddy system perspective.
Country Girl’s Daybook: Jesus, Photography, Fashion, & Food
I really needed this. Thank you! Gift from the Sea is now on my reading list!
Wow, what a great quote! Thanks for sharing!
Jenna you are amazing. life can be a struggle but you look at it so simply. i sent this to my husband. thanks for sharing
I read the book one night on retreat. I think you’ll like it! That water is gorgeous! Enjoy the good times with your buddy! :)
That’s so true! What a lovely way to look at relationships and married life!
It is so true!! Choosing to see God in my husband has made a huge difference.
I’m tagging you to play along with me and share 20ish things that make you happy! http://www.somedaysaints.com/?p=416