Fountain Ear (n.): A condition in which the sufferer either cannot hear normal everyday sounds (TV, husband, phone) or falsely hears various sounds due to an obnoxiously loud fountain outside of the window.
Example: “Honey, can you turn on the bathroom fan while I’m in the shower?”
“It is on. You just can’t hear it because you have fountain ear.”
Seriously, people. This fountain is on everyday from 6:45 am until 12 am. I cannot fall asleep until it goes off. I cannot sleep once it is on. We can’t have the windows open if we want to watch a movie or listen to music. When it’s off, we hear birds and frogs and bugs and summer. We have the woods right to our back. Magical summer sounds. Instead, all we hear is CRSHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH all hours of the day and night. It’s not the nice kind of water sound like when it rains. I would love to hear the rain.
One time it broke. I was so happy for a week. Then they fixed it. Thinking about leaving an anonymous note. Either that, or I might have to sue claiming that I have permanent fountain ear.