We have a sofa table in our hallway. It’s long, thin and top heavy, and we never thought to childproof it. Ellen never bothered it, so it just didn’t seem important. Until yesterday morning.
Mike had just finished changing Ellen’s diaper, and I was eating cereal on the couch checking my phone. Then, we heard a horrible crash and went running. I saw my sweet baby on the ground with a heavy table on top of her and a bloody nose. We called 911 and had the paramedics check her for a concussion and other injuries. She checked out just find. Thank you, Jesus. Thank you, Jesus. Thank you, Jesus. I am taking her to the doctor today for a follow up.
I don’t know if I’ll ever be able to get that picture of yesterday morning out of my head. I don’t know if I’ll ever be able to get rid of the guilt of not childproofing that area. I don’t know if I’ll ever be able to feel like she is safe. I don’t know if I am over-reacting. Am I over-reacting? There are so many people out there who have been through and are going through so much worse, but I can’t get over something that turned out ok.
On the other hand, we learned so many lessons yesterday. So many answers to questions I had been praying about.
But, even though I am glad we learned, I can’t shake that sick feeling that things could have been worse. I can’t shake the guilt that I should have been watching her. I can’t get out of this glum mood and just enjoy my baby anymore.
I debated over blogging about this, but obviously decided I wanted to. It helps me to write out my feelings, and I also feel better after talking to other moms. So, any kind advice, prayers and stories are welcome and needed.
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You have just read a post by Call Her Happy. Consider leaving a comment…I love ’em!
This is just my 2cents. But I don’t think you’re overreacting at all! I would take what you learned as a gift from a loving God. It may be a blessing you can’t get those images out of your mind because it will help you to proof someplace else that could potentially truly harm your little one.
You are a great mom (I can tell) and no, you’re not overreacting!
Hi Jenna:
I am putting below the blog post that I wrote when my son had a terrible accident. At 3 weeks old, he was not strapped into his stroller right and he rolled out into the sidewalk. It was, by far, the WORST thing that has ever happened to me. He ended up needing a stay in the hospital and had a skull fracture. It is still hard for me to think about and it changed a lot about the way I viewed what it was to be my son’s mommy. What I was able to do though, is pray through the fears that I had associated with what COULD have happened and how I felt after it happened. I thought and prayed A LOT about God’s love and how much he wants to protect us but how sometimes we get banged up (either by others who aren’t protecting us right, or by our own fault). It made me realize, to a profound level that to truly love someone, there is a necessary pain involved. Necessary crosses, unknowns, etc…
A year later, I use the story A LOT with teens on retreat as a reflection of God’s love. Maybe, if you hare having a hard time processing it, you can take it to prayer and think about how pain./love are blended together. How our love for our children is SO similar to God’s love for us, except his love is all the more profound and vunerable to hurt.
I am so glad your baby girl is okay:) Lil’ Aaron was back to his self in no time!
http://letlovebesincere.blogspot.com/2011_05_01_archive.html
Accidents will happen, how you respond defines a good mom. You responded like a great mom would. Love you.
You’re definitely not overreacting. It’s scary. When Sullivan was first learning to walk, he was trying to cruise from his crib to the nightstand, missed his handhold and nailed the corner of the nightstand. I didn’t call the paramedics but I did call our pediatric nurse. The fact that he just crawled away laughing helped to know it wasn’t serious but this kid has a serious daredevil streak. I feel bad saying that I’m used to it but I am. I don’t freak out about the small things anymore. He has skinned knees and scraped knuckles from climbing around outside but I still keep an eagle eye on him.
Oh he also pulled an end table down on him that hit him in the neck and pinned him to the floor. I FREAKED THE **** OUT LIKE YOU WOULDN’T BELIEVE! Luckily our ped is really close so we ran him right over. He was just looking at us like “parents, please, get over it”. Sigh….
Jenna, I am praying for God’s grace to be poured into you. I think every mom out there probably has a similar horror story/close call that they’ve been through with their young children. You are a GOOD mom, accidents do happen – thank you Lord for good guardian angels, and sometimes there are things that happen that are beyond our control. I’ve had things happen to my daughters even though I was standing right beside them, even when I was watching, even when I thought I had done everything “right.” The best advice I have ever received was from a wonderful Christian lady from one of my Bible studies who was both a mom and a grandmother, she told me that while they are our children, they *belong* to God. That has helped me so much as my girls have gotten older and continue to become more independent and are becoming teens and young adults. You’re not over-reacting, and of course you feel awful that your baby got hurt, we’re moms, that’s what moms do. My advice is to banish the guilt – it is not of God, lose the table, and hug and kiss and enjoy precious little Ellen. There are going to be many instances in life where “it could have been worse” is going to be a factor. Thank God and praise Him when it’s not, and when it is pray for the strength to get through whatever happens next. I told your dad tonight at our meeting that I wished I could give you a hug – so I’m sending you a hug and you’re in my prayers. May His peace that surpasses all understanding rest in you :)
~jill
You are so blessed.. what an outpouring of caring people you have in your circle.
Jenna,
Things happen and we respond. With five children between us and three grandchildren and one on the way, Gary and I have seen A LOT! Best thing is to pray and keep your cool. I had to really practice not showing my fear so that the girls would not know how serious I thought some things were. Can you imagine the dumbfound look on my face when I found out at the beginning of the year parent soccer meeting when Griffin was 6, that if she was injured, I was forbidden from running on to the field to see if she was ok? Wow!
Sounds like you and Mike are doing all the right things. Ellen is so blessed to have you both as parents. God is watching over all of you! You are in my prayers!
“Lord Jesus, you give us Your children made in Your image to care for on earth. Help us to always be the best parents and to follow Your will. Give Jenna and Mike reassurance that they are doing all that You desire as parents. Give them peace that they truly have Ellen in a “love cocoon” and that she is well protected in Your love also. Let Jenna and Mike know and feel “the love” of all their friends and family and especially Your love. Thank you so much for Jenna’s talent for the “callherhappy.com” blog that touches so many lives in a positive way. Lastly, I praise You Lord for Ellen’s health! In the name of Jesus Christ Our Lord. Amen.”
Hugs to you both, Jenna and Mike!
Love,
Florence
Jenna
There will be more trips to the ER, broken bones, stitches…etc… over the coming years! With that said, it is hard to watch your child hurt. It is hard to watch them have their immunizations, it is hard to watch another child be mean to your child, it is hard to see them fail at something they want. Being a parent is the hardest thing I have ever done. Boy, is it also the most rewarding thing I have ever done!!! Welcome to the club, you are a great Mom and with more time and experiences you will stop second guessing yourself so much (you always will a little I think!).
Love you girl & miss ya =)
xoxo
That was – and still is, actually, with my son- one of my worst nightmares. Stuff happens, and you can’t have your eyes on them every single moment of the day. Good for you guys for anchoring everything to the wall, I have often thought about that, but never gotten around to it… Instead, I’ve resorted to screaming warnings every time my son puts a foot on a piece of furniture!
It’s assuring to know that he’s at the age where he understand “no” though. Whether he listens or not…another story…just like any kid his age :) Thanks for commenting, Lindsay. I always enjoy when you stop by :)
even though it is a nightmare now it will be a blessing in the years to come. It will be one of the stories you will tell. When she is older you she will tease you about all this. These years are hard and Mike and you are both good parents. Just think about the upcoming years of boys and high school this will seem small.
Don’t beat yourself up, we do have to rely on God to be part of the parent as well.
Love ya
Pam