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You are here: Home / The Children / Eviction Notice

Eviction Notice

July 21, 2011 By Jenna 6 Comments

I was told this might work…

To: Ellen Margherita

Pursuant to the provisions  of your mother, you are hereby given an eviction notice and notice to vacate, on or before July 23, 2011, the uterus owned by your mother of the State of Michigan, whose womb is now occupied by you.

The reason for this eviction notice is:
Your neglect to recognize the recent heat wave sweeping our state and your mother’s inability to do anything but sit inside and watch the WKAR Create station on PBS (why don’t we have cable, again?)

You are hereby notified that your right to avoid this eviction by payment, prior to the expiration of this notice has been revoked. Resistance is futile.

Substantial damage done to the premises is as follows:
Stretch Marks
Loss of Sleep
Restless Legs
Heartburn
Elevated Body Temperature
Weight Gain
Back Pain
Frequent Urination
Anxiety

Dated:  July 21, 2011

Signed: Your Mother

I hereby certify that on the twenty-first day of July 2011, at 5:15 pm I left at the womb of Ellen Margherita above named, a true copy of the above original notice.

 

some text

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Filed Under: The Children

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  1. Jen says

    July 22, 2011 at 12:38 pm

    Oh Jenna :) this makes me laugh. I remember poking Sullivan and telling him “get out get out get out”. Hope she decides to make her enterance soon

    Reply
  2. Anonymous says

    July 22, 2011 at 9:42 pm

    Jenna,
    Hopefully Ellie will make a quicker debut than your cousin Rob. His due date was January 27th and he was not born until February 17th. Three weeks late! I don’t think they let you go that long anymore…but by the second week after his due date I was convinced I would be pregnant forever! Have patience
    , this will be your number one virtue as a mom!
    love,
    AA

    Reply
  3. R Olden347 says

    December 19, 2011 at 5:47 pm

    Im using remixing this eviction notice for my daughter A’milliana! lol She needs to vacate the premisses ASAP!! Tmrw is my due date. lol
     
    love Bee*

    Reply
  4. R Olsen347 says

    December 19, 2011 at 5:49 pm

    **Im using and remixing this eviction notice for my daughter A’milliana! lol She needs to vacate the premisses ASAP! Tmrw is my due date, I hope this works!!**

    Love Bee*

    Reply
  5. callherhappy says

    December 19, 2011 at 6:14 pm

    I’m telling you! It really works :)

    Reply
  6. Express Evictions says

    September 6, 2017 at 1:27 am

    Hey Jenna,
    It looks funny but it really works. This sounds crazy when I read this letter.

    Reply
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