There was no way I was going to be late for their well visits today. (We like to call this foreshadowing in the English teacher world.)
I woke up, showered and got the kids ready 1.5 hours before we had to leave. We had time to kill, I say! So, with my time to kill, I was responsible and I got the diaper bag and my purse by the door and ready to go. The kids both had snacks and diapers changed. We were going to leave 15 minutes early just in case one of them had to poop all over the place before we left.
That must have been where I went wrong.
I didn’t plan on three poop emergencies from my TWO children while we walked out the door (Sam, Ellen while dealing with Sam, then Sam while dealing with Ellen.) But, we made it out of the house and got in the car. We did it. I would just have to drive a little over to get there. No prob.
Cue Sam’s “screaming until he chokes” fits in the car. Cue me stopping two times to burp him and get him to stop choking.
But, we got back on the road. So Sam could start screaming again. And scream the whole way to the doctor’s. While Ellen kept complaining she was hungry. Didn’t I offer you a million snacks before we left?
We got off the freeway with just a few minutes until the appointment. He is five minutes off the freeway. Perfect.
I looked in the back seat to offer Ellen some crackers I finally scrounged up. She is SLEEPING?!?! What the ish? If you’re a mom, you know this is the kiss of nap death. Three minutes sleeping in the car and then waking her up for the doctor means no nap for the rest of the day. Greeeeeat.
Arrive in the parking lot. Pull two sleeping children out of the car. Step in gum. Beautiful. Keep walking.
We got inside and checked in, and all went as expected – almost.
The doctor comes in to tell me he is sorry that they are running behind, but he didn’t get my charts until 1:50 (the appointment was at 1), and my showing up late was backing things up.
“Um, I got here at 1pm.”
“Well, by my watch it was 1:05.”
Restrain yourself, woman.
“Well, my watch said 1pm.”
“We like you to get here 15 minutes early to get measured and weighed and whatnot.”
“So, you want me to get to our appointment early so you can get things done that are supposed to be a part of our appointment?”
Ok, I didn’t say that, but I thought it.
On with appointment. Kids scream during shots. Everything is normal.
Go back to car. Step in gum. Oh, hello again, damnit.
Repeat mantra: You can only do what you can do.
**Disclaimer: I love our doctor. I think he was just a bit off today, and I was too. No harm, no foul. But I will spend today imagining lots of kids pooping on him.