This should really read: Why I tolerate doing the dishes. I don’t love it. I will never love it. But, now I can handle it.
Before having Ellen, I hateddddd doing the dishes. I loved to dirty the dishes by eating and cooking. That is the fun part. And, we had a rule (we still do, really): whoever cooks doesn’t have to clean up. Good rule, I know.
Anyway, now that Ellen is around, we can’t always keep that rule, and sometimes I get stuck doing the dishes while Mike does things like bathe the baby, spend quality time with her, pay the bills. Selfish.
When I got dish duty, I would moan and groan and sometimes pout; I’m sure you’re shocked.
Then, one day, I decided to read the book of Ecclesiastes. Just out of the blue. I was all, “Hm. I think I’m going to read the book of Ecclesiastes.”
You know what I got out of it? I realized that I was spending too much time looking forward to the next thing. I wanted to hurry up and finish the dumb dishes so I could sit and relax. I wanted to rush through Ellen’s bath so I could sit and relax. I wanted to finish the laundry so I could sit and relax.
And, in case you aren’t familiar with life, these types of things never go away. There is always something else to do when you are a wife, a mother or a human.
I figured that I was spending all of my day accomplishing tasks while wishing I was done so I could sit and relax and do…nothing, I guess.
I decided that I would start to be present in the moment I was in. I wouldn’t force myself to enjoy the monotony necessarily (because sometimes things are boring — like the dishes), but I would relax and be aware of where I was and what I was doing. It might sound silly, but my mantra is, “This is what I am doing right now.”
Now, when I find myself wishing I was somewhere else doing something else, I just remind myself, “This is what I am doing right now,” and it brings me back to where I am.
I’m not always very good at it, but I think I am enjoying my life more now instead of wishing time away.
I really think God is trying to tell me something lately. This week, I have started to think that I just have to let go of my ‘former life’…you know, the one where I used to sit down and watch an occasional tv show without doing anything else. The one where we were ‘done for the day’ around 6:00 pm (on non working nights) and could just cuddle, talk, internets and watch tv. Anyway, there was some sadness associated with that realization, but then I thought ‘I totally prefer THIS life, so I need to stop being sad’. But, Jesus knew, I was still feeling a bit sad. BUT THEN, there was simcha’s awesome post about not waiting to be who we ‘are’. And then, this fantastic post about being in the moment. My new norm might be washing dishes, putting away toys, vacuuming at 8:30 pm…BUT, ‘this is what I’m doing now’ brings an acceptance and joy to the daily movements of life! Thanks Jenna!
Hi Jenna, it’s Kim at Mommie…Again – I’m following you on GFC now. I don’t like doing dishes though!!
I love this. I always think to myself, I am so grateful I have a wonderful family to do this for. Great article Jenna!
Sometimes I actually wish I could do the dishes. Yes you read that correctly. Sullivan is so clingy now, I can’t even pee in peace. All I hear is “MIMI!!!” followed by the most impressive sobbing I’ve ever seen. I think I would actually find dish washing to be somewhat soothing at this point.
your amazing and insightful
I thought this post was very encouraging and just what I needed to read. Thank you!
I think this is a great idea–there’s hardly enough time in life as it is…even the washing dishes time shouldn’t be wished away! Thanks for the reminder!