New Moms: You Don’t Have Big Kids

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Simcha says you will one day be able to leave the big kids home with the littles while you run errands.

Kendra doesn’t know how to shower with just her littles underfoot.

The lady down the street from me says that little kids aren’t outside a lot because they are too little to do it on their own.

So, stop comparing yourself to moms who have big kids

We have littles. Our babies can’t do the things big kids do, so we can’t do the things those moms do.

They say this is the hardest part for a reason. It’s full of diapers and trying and failing to get out of the house and not being able to shower and feeling trapped inside and wishing just one kid could buckle themselves and being responsible for every single need for every single person in the house.

This isn’t to discourage you. It’s to remind you (and ME!) that this is normal. This is hard. This is ok.

What makes it discouraging is when you compare yourself to moms with big kids.

We have littles and its hard. But were doing it. So we rock.

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Comments

  1. Not discouraging at all. I needed to see this. Thank you!

  2. elizaraxi says:

    Word. *fist bump*

  3. Totally agree! Here in blog world it’s easy to compare ourselves to others who are in very different situations than us and wonder why we can’t keep up. Time to give ourselves a break.

  4. I struggle with this sentiment often, but in my case it’s a little different because I DO have a big kid. She’s old enough to stay home alone (for short periods of time), but because of her disability she can’t help out much with her younger brother. She can distract him when we’re all together, but since he can easily outrun her, watching him for me isn’t really an option. Just another thing that makes my life Bizarro World…

  5. I jumped over here on the link from Sole Searching Mama, and you’re right about seasons. I do have big kids now (my oldest is 14, youngest is 3) and even I can have the comparison issues. I was thinking of enrolling my older homeschooling kids in a lyceum class next year that would mean our whole family would be there every Friday afternoon. Its a good class and many of my older kids’ friends are in it. But I realized that it just isn’t going to work for us in this season of life. I still have a toddler, where most of the kids in the class ARE the youngest. I can’t compare our family to ones of the same size, but their youngest is 13 and their oldest is in college. Someday my younger kids will probably get to benefit from a class like that, but not my older ones, at least not just yet.

  6. Such a great reminder to focus on the present moment and to try to find a glimmer of the light down the tunnel right now! Littles are a challenge, and then when one or more are tough-characters with awesome leadership qualities :) that can sure add to the pile at times. Blessing, Mamas!

  7. So true! Love this :)

  8. Oh thank you, thank you, thank you!

  9. Love this Jenna. You DO rock!

  10. Word, Jenna.

  11. Yes, yes, yes. I so needed this reminder today. Five and under is not for the faint of heart!

  12. AAAAAAAMEN.

  13. WERK. This is something I have to remind myself constantly.

  14. YES. Now, a couple of my kids are old enough to help with some stuff but I am definitely not to the point where I can leave them at home for a 20 minute run by myself. So I still say YES.

    The 10 year old kid that Kendra speaks of is a light at the end of the tunnel, but I am still in the tunnel!

  15. Yeah, pretty much sums it up. I wish someone had told me when I only had littles!

  16. beccagarber says:

    Yep, this is SO true! Can’t wait till the oldest can babysit the youngest!

  17. This is so good, and such a good reminder – even before my little is here! One day they will all be big and be able to do dishes and babysit the others and drive the littles places and and and… then we will drink our cocktails peaceful while sitting in rocking chairs with our husbands. Right? ;)

  18. This was perfect and exactly what I needed to read today. I’ll have a one month old this Friday and its hard not to look around and see people with kids who are interactive, walking, somewhat self sufficient and think… What? Why can’t I do those things? Perfectly, perfectly said.

  19. Yeeees. “Comparison is the thief of joy” is a popular quote for a REASON, y’all!

  20. Loved this. So so much. And I needed it. Thank you, Jenna.

  21. Jenna- this is HUGE for me and something I am just learning. I came to a stunning conclusion last week. ‘Play dates’ and having people over, do not work for me in this season. I have too many little kids that take every ounce of my energy so adding another person/their kids to the mix leaves me so tired I can barely function after. I think sometimes we have ideals we want to strive for, but like, when our kids are under the age of 3 or 4 and really non functional without us, I think we need to have your blog as a mantra. ‘My kids are not big, I cannot do that’. Most of the blogs I follow are of women with just one child, or a variety of children of all ages. Very few moms have three in three years- so my experience is so unique. A huge blessing I have is my sister Theresa is in the same boat, only one more because she had twins as her last (four kids under three). I call her often to make sure I am not crazy. And, she/her husband have completely shut down their social life until their kids are older. I’m almost there, because, frankly, it’s all just a bit too much right now.

    • I am so with you! We had 5 kids in 5 years and “normal” things like play dates or trips to the part were my nightmares. NO ONE undestands that untl you have multiple little ones all at once. Often hearing advice that I just needed to get out more would send me in to an emotional tornado! :)

  22. Exactly! Very well said! :) We have smaller, closer triumphs for now, don’t we? Leo is 3.5 now, and un-buttoned his shirt (he can button too, but it took him about 5 min to show me one button…).

    Rockstars all.

Your pretty thought would look nice down here.