Have you read Grace’s hilarious series, Simon Says? Maybe you shouldn’t. Read this first. She’s a hard act to follow.
“You can wear holy pants or you can wear holy boxers. But you can’t wear them both at the same time.” -Mike on fashion (from experience)
After coming home from a sweaty game of racquetball:
Mike: “I literally have no underwear left. I’m going to have to go commando tonight and at work tomorrow.”
Me: “You could do a load of laundry.”
Mike: “I don’t understand.”
After watching 3 hours of Master Chef on Hulu and receiving this message: “You have been watching for 3 hours. Are you sure you want to continue?”
Mike: “Jenna, we need to go to bed. The TV is making fun of us.”
After talking about where Mike’s job will move us next.
Mike: “Good talk, honey. We didn’t even fight. We’ll have to make up for that later.”
After seeing a flag flying half-mast…duh.
Me: “How do flag owners always know when to fly the flag half-mast?”
Mike: “I don’t know. You should go to halfmast.com. Wait. No. Don’t go there.”