I had a moment on Friday, and all of y’all came back at me like gangbusters with so much love and advice and support and “me too!” The comments and the texts and the phone calls and the emails and the messages and everything. You filled me right to the brim.
I read each and every one of your comments and loved every single one. So much wisdom and great advice from seasoned mommas, moms who are right in the trenches with me, nannies and even some stay-at-home-dads.
So, what now?
Now, I just need a new plan. I need to sit back and read all of the wonderful support one more time. I need to process all of that love and integrate it into my daily grind. And, I am pumped to do it. You lifted me up on eagle’s wings – or something like that.
You made me realize that this was a bad day/week/whatever and not a bad life. I am in a funk; I am not a bad mom. I can change things tomorrow. Things are going to get easier. This is hard (I need that validation – a lot). And everyone feels this way sometimes.
Do I think that part of this might be PPD? No. I thought about it. I talked to Mike about it (that guy KNOWS me). And, we both don’t think that is the case. While some of my thoughts and feelings might align with PPD, they aren’t constant. There is still an overarching sense of contentment with my vocation as a SAHM. And, while sometimes I lose sight of why I do this and why I chose it, I still have hope that things can be and will be better.
Anyway, I just want to reach out my virtual arms and give ya a big squeeze for being so generous with your prayers, advice and solidarity. And, if you are feeling the same way as me, or you’re a mom-to-be or have another one on the way, don’t let me freak you out. Let me just be real with you: some things get harder and make you want to run away. But, some things get a whole lot easier too. You’ll up. You’ll down. You’ll make it. I’m gonna make it too.
And, if they really drive me that crazy, I can always do this: