It seemed like it was going to start off alright. Both kids let me shower in relative peace this morning, and we all slept until 7:45. Not too shabby.
And then everything went down faster than prune juice through a 2yo.
“Let’s bake cookies!” I said. “It will be fun!” I said. So I spent a whole hour wrestling two children into clean diapers and kind of clean clothes so we could march down into the kitchen for breakfast and baking. And that’s when I realized that we never cleaned the kitchen from dinner last night due to some unfortunate and unplanned events (ahem, Mike). No problem. I would just clean the kitchen until it didn’t really come close to sparkling, and then get the goods out to bake.
But, you know, babies and stuff. Sam wanted to eat and then Sam wanted to sleep. And since he can’t do either of those things without me these days, the joy fell solely upon me.
THEN, it was time to bake. So I got all of the ingreeds. Ingreeds that I had sent two different people to the store for over the past week because I kept running out of things I needed. (Yeah, I tried to bake these cookies on two other occasions this week. Failasaurus.) And what do I find? We are out of peppermint. Just an empty bottle of it because that makes sense that I would put an empty bottle back in the cupboard.
What I thought I would do next was take the kids to the store because I hate myself. Top off Sam. Lay him down so he can scream while I get Ellen’s socksbootscoathatglovesscarf on. Pick up Sam and get his socksbootscoathatglovesscarf on. I love putting socksbootscoathatglovesscarf because I just need to take most of it off once I get them in their car seats. That’s fun. Ok, Sam is dressed, and WHAT THE? Ellen has taken EVERYTHING off. I hate my life.
Ellen was finally and sufficiently yelled at and redressed, so I piled them in the car one trip at a time because dragging two through two feet of snow is not my idea of keeping it cool.
The entire way there, Ellen yelled, “Mom! Look at me!” which, you know, I can’t. So, when we got to the overflowing Meijer parking lot, I turned to look to see that she had taken off her boots and socks. Hardy har.
Get kids in store. I just need peppermint, but I might as well pick up a few things for pies that I need to make this weekend. We grab all of the goods with ease until we hit up the last isle. I am calculating measurements and very complicated mathy things in my head while Ellen yells,
“Mom! Mom! Mom! Moooooooooommmmmmm!”
“What?”
“I’m going to call you Vagina now!”
“Okay.”
I swung by the wine isle for an impulse buy of a bottle of the cheapest I could find because anything will do the trick.
So, we pay, and get out mostly intact. The total damage only came to $40, two hours, two lost but then found hats and one boot dropped twice crisis.
Now we are back at home, and the only solace I could find was to either eat my weight in baking chocolate or hash this out for you. This option seemed easier on my thighs.
And, I will just leave you with all of that. I haven’t baked the cookies yet, but I have the damn peppermint. I might get to it later, but right now, Ellen is emptying a box of tissues while Sam is eating an orange crayon.
It’s the price I pay for sanity?

Gone are the days when you can just run to the store and pick something up…I hear you on this one. I think there’s something n the air today. We’re having a similar day. Whew! 5 hours till the hubby comes home!
Oh wow, I feel for you, but your life is rather normal lol. When mine were little we had similar days, now my daughter has similar days with her two boys.
If you’re taking most of it back off when you buckle them in and you’re carrying them out one at a time, have you considered wrapping them in a blanket and taking them out to the car, then just putting the stuff on when you unbuckle them at the store?
It’ll get better, it truly will.
Add in my dilemma of having locked gates and never being able to find the key. Why, since we are always replacing the lost keys, do we even have locked gates now because some bad guy out there, or lots of bad guys out there, have found all our lost keys…so the locked gates have become a source of cussing and not a bad guy deterrent.
#storyofmylife. Except you wrote it…so, you know, yours.
I think I could eat my weight in baker’s chocolate e’ry stinkin’ day. That’s the point of making cookies w/ the kids, right, so we can eat the “extra” chocolate chips?
Hang in there, chica!
You are brave!! I would have made the cookies without the peppermint and just added extra vanilla or chocolate or almond extract or something. Or more likely I would have just eaten my weight in chocolate chips.
I might have just literally LOLed and woken up my sleeping husband it the bed next to me when I read the vagina part. Like choking in my spit, the husband is now pissed because it scared the bejeezus out of him kind of laughing. Poor you! Sounds like an awful day! But funny in retrospect. Can you laugh about it yet?
Really had to laugh about the “prune juice through a 2yo”! It’s amazing how quickly things can get crazy. I’m home alone with four kids under five and was contemplating a trip to the store for a few things…. now I think I’ll just stay in, order pizza and eat my weight in cookies. :)
See, this is why I just don’t leave the house with kids once it gets cold :P It’s such a fight EVERY TIME to get Cecilia to wear a coat and then she takes every. single. thing. off as soon as she gets in the car, and then cries when I won’t put every. single. thing. back on her when it’s time to go inside!
LOL! Yup, this is why I almost never take both girls to the store by myself anymore. So rough. . . . And I really did LOL at the “vagina” comment. I’ve opted to tell the girls the real names for things too, but oh man, that policy can come back to bite you.
All I can do is laugh hysterically because it sounds like me!!!
Snickering. I’d be laughing louder if Daniel’s ABA tutor weren’t here.