For those of you unfamiliar, co-sleeping is the practice of sharing your bed with your child. This usually starts from day one of the child’s life and can continue on for as long as a parent wishes.
Many people swear by the practice. It is supposed to promote bonding, make night feedings easier, help control baby’s breathing, and give mom and dad more rest.
However, there are as many dissenters for this practice as there are advocates. Those opposed preach the dangers of co-sleeping: a parent may roll over onto baby, baby can be smothered in blankets, baby can fall from bed, etc.
With such wonderful benefits and such horrific dangers, how is a mom to decide what to do?
The idea of more sleep is so wonderful to me. Ellen sleeps so well when attached to me. We love our Infantino carrier for this reason. I can get so much done during the day while she just snoozes on me and wakes for the occasional feeding and changing. During the night, she eats and then crashes on my chest. She is out cold, people! It’s adorable and tempting…I just want to let her stay! Not only would I get more sleep, but I just love the cuddle time. I could cuddle this kid all day…and I often do! Doesn’t everyone wish they could just snuggle up with their baby all night long like a teddy bear?
Of course, on the flip side, I just can’t being myself to do this because of the dangers. If anything poses a threat to my baby, the protector in me just can’t be ok with the idea. Now, I have to admit, when we first brought her home from the hospital, I was not used to this “no sleep” thing. During one of our night feedings, I fell asleep with her on my chest. When I woke up a couple hours later, all was ok. As a matter of fact, Ellen was still sleeping! But, I cried and cried and cried. I couldn’t believe that I had put my baby in danger.
So, in our home, Ellen sleeps in our room right next to the bed. She sleeps in her pack-n-play all swaddled up with white noise in the background. I try to mimic the womb as close as I can without having her curled up on me. I still think about co-sleeping all the time. I reason with myself that studies show that mothers who feel attached to their children and are in good health do not roll over on their babies. At the same time, what if? What if??
With this being such a hot topic right now, read about it for yourself 1. here, 2. here, 3. here and 4. here, and tell me what you think in the comment section below.
1. NPR
2. NYT
3. Dr. Sears
4. Dr. Sears
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I was terrified of rolling over on Sullivan so we used a co sleeper. It was at the height of the bed and attached so I could reach out and see him and feel him if need be. It was great to have him close at first but when he started sleeping longer at night, we moved him into his nursery. My hubby’s alarm was also waking him up in the morning so that also sucked. I really loved our co sleeper. It helped stop me from panicking in the middle of the night-I could just roll over and touch his chest.
I think, if done safely, co sleeping is a wonderful thing but there are dangers that people need to be aware of.
I found your blog through a comment you left at Marriage Confessions.
I’m a new mom too…we just had our baby girl at the end of May.
I agree…I am terrified of co-sleeping. I can’t stand the thought of the “what ifs”. If there is any risk, I just can’t take it. Our daughter gave us a huge scare last month…and since then sleep has not happened here unless either my husband or I are holding her. We SO want and need sleep, and so does she! We’re not sure what to do.
What if?
What if you put your baby into a crib and they throw up and choke on their vomit and you don’t hear them? What if you go check on your baby in the morning and they’ve quietly died a ‘crib death’? What if you ‘train’ your baby to sleep on its own long before it’s really ready to be separated from other humans and that child suffers attachment disorders?
There are ‘what if?’s on both sides. I’m more comfortable with my what ifs. I’m not likely to roll over on a baby – I’m not obese, a drunk, or use drugs. I’m parenting the way humans have for thousands and thousands of years and the way that the majority of humans in the world still do – all without killing the next generation.
Plus, I get more sleep with my baby next to me. :)
Jenna…it’s so hard being a Mom, everyday are new and sometimes terrifing choices to make! The co-sleep is terrific! My girlfriend Melissa used one with her son who is 2 1/2. We used a bassinet right next to the bed so I could just reach over and grab them. As a CSI and a detective I have gone on WAY TOO MANY dead baby calls. Many of them while I was pregnant and my kids were babies (often my babies were the same age as the calls I was on). Because of this with Brenna, I would actually get up out of bed and sit on the couch to feed her with the tv on so I was sure I would not accidently fall asleep or drop her. As one person pointed out, often times “rolling over” on a baby happens because of obesity, alcohol, or drugs….BUT this is NOT always the case! Why risk it when they have such cool new things constantly coming out like the co-sleeper =)
Love you girlie!!!!
I guess this post proves that the phrase “to each her own” is very true. I by no means think that co-sleeping is wrong, I just can’t do it though. If there is anything I’ve learned about parenting so far it is to trust your instincts! Thanks for all the wonderful comments!
We use a pack n play in our room as well. There have been times that I have brought Claire to bed with me, but it is usually early morning when she wakes up to my husband’s alarm clock and I’m not ready to be all the way awake yet. lol I plan to move her to the crib in her room soon, but I keep delaying it… It’s so nice to have them close!
Jenni- I do the same. Ellen loves to curl up on my chest with the boppy under her. I just close my eyes and rest while she sleeps. It’s not co-sleeping, but it is just as cuddly!