I never knew how awkward being a mom could really be.
There are so many situations where I feel like I need to do something but I don’t know if I should, no I shouldn’t, wait, I’m the adult here, but it’s really none of my business, o my word getmeoutofhere.
For instance, I was at the park with Ellen on Sunday. There were only two other boys there, and they were about 7 or 8. No other parents. No other kids. Just me, Ellen and the two boys.
So, we’re playing, we’re exploring, we find the sewer more fascinating than anything else there, when another 7ish-year-old boy shows up. Let’s call him Richard because, well, that’s what he said his name was.
Richard asked the other two boys if he could play. And, heartbreak, the two boys said no and that he was weird and they didn’t want to play with him.
Oh. My. Was my heart ever broken. Richard just stood there awkwardly. I just stood there awkwardly because Ellen wanted to be right in the middle of their awkward awkwardness.
So, I’m standing there thinking, “I should say something. That was mean. But they aren’t my kids. But I want to stick up for this boy. But that might make them make fun of him more. Where are these kids’ parents anyway? Richard, say something snarky so you look cool. Come on! Aw, do I need to say something?”
Then, Richard’s dad called him for dinner, and he walked away slowly looking so defeated.
I was probably just as crushed as he was.
What would you have done? Do you have any other awkward parenting situations to gripe about? Am I the only one who struggles with this?
Yeesh. It gives me the willies.
Jess from Cox's Corner says
Man, that’s tough. After the poor kid left I probably would have said something to the kids…cause I can’t stand mean kids. It probably would have been along the lines of “That wasn’t cool, mean kids do that” Something along those lines…again though, I’m not sure if I would’ve waited to say that…or if I would have said it that nicely either. But I would say something…
Jaclyn Martindale says
They are lucky I was not there! I would not have been able to keep my mouth shut. I think I most likely would have said “That was not very nice, how would you feel if you were the one being left out?” and then probably told Richard that Ellen loves to be pushed on the swing by the “big” kids, does he want to play her? I know someone else watching may think ‘why is that weird lady talking to the kid’s’ but I don’t really care. My heart breaks and I wanted to cry reading this. Kid’s can be SO mean to one another. I take every opportunity I can to talk with my kids about being kind and also not looking the other way. Stepping up and making a difference in someone’s life. Missed you at the birthday party this weekend! xo
oh they would’ve gotten a lesson from me for sure! A kind lesson in bullying and being nice to others. Short and sweet and left them thinking.
Heather Roth Hernandez says
I probably would have said something. Not sure what…but definately something – to Richard and the others. It is tough being a parent at a park. I often find that there are ‘clicks’ among the parents when adults are present…so this can be a tough area in general. At the start of warm weather I was ‘unsure’ of how to handle older kids running and potentially knocking my little toddler down. I kept my mouth shut…not wanting looks from other parents. However – after a few months of spending time at various parks – there are parents out there that care. And…when needed I now let kids know to ‘be careful’ or ‘watch out’. Just the other day at the splash park a 4 or 5 year old girl deliberately ran by Teo and pushed him down. It happened so fast but my mommy instincts took over and I looked at her and screamed ‘hey!’. She sulked away – clearly feeling badly. (where was her parent? not to be found – and near water!!!!). So – I would follow your instincts and say something next time. A few years down the road if Ellen asks to play and is told no – wouldn’t you say something or hope another parent was there to step in?
Gretchen Petersen Linenger says
I agree with Jaclyn. I would probably have said something similar.
The Lovely One says
Awww….poor Richard. I probably wouldn’t ave said anything to the mean boys, because I’m pretty awkward myself. But I probably would have tried to play with Richard a bit, because the awkward people need to unite… and it would have made him feel better, too!
Chrissy Jordan says
I would have played with him! I wouldn’t say anything to the other kids, that doesn’t teach them anything, not really. I always talk to the kiddos at the park, maybe I’m weird?? You were right in not interjecting in their little bully party, I think that validates their behavior.
*sigh* Is this what we all have to look forward to with our kids?
As a mom of 5 who range from 11-4 I have been in these situations alot. I also seen kids that age alone. As a mom I alays put myself in both kids shoes, cuz I know mine have been in both. I always go to the kid that was hurt first and ask them if they want to join my kids or just ask them how their week is going, tell them wow neat shoes etc. Then one the kid is feeling better I approach the “mean” kids in a nice manner and tell them I am really disapointed on how rude they were and that they should learn to be nice or they could be in that boys shoes one day. Not all accept my motherly advice, but most do and for the ones who dont I feel bad for cuz Karma is a terrible thing. HAPPY Friday!
I like to try to ise these teachable moments…. To my children i say (loudly)…. Lets go play over here away from these kids who are making bad choices/being mean/bullying. And then to Ricbatd i might have said something like i would love for you to join us and help me teach my kids about good choices/being kind etc…. We really like playing on swings, maybe you want to come too?