Anna is here again, and this time it’s a double whammy. A #5Faves and an announcement. Bet you can’t guess what it is. I bettttt…
Oh, a new little baby.
A new immortal soul, a new little light in the world, shining without being seen. The only tangible proof that there’s a baby even there was a line on the pregnancy test, my uncharacteristically intense craving for Pepsi, and a bloat that could propel me to India if you put a propeller on my bum. Like a happy and nauseous dirigible.
These pregnancies are starting to feel like the academic years. Nine months on, three months summer, nine months on again–at least this time around. I’ve found myself looking at this long stretch of time sort of like I did back at the start of a new school year, all psyched to start fresh, do my homework before I was tired dead shell of a human, wear a cute outfit every day, an excel in everything. About a week in, I’d usually lose a lot of morale and settle on wearing a hoodie every day and doing my homework during Oprah commercials.
But now, I’m hoping to start off the pregnancy right. My last one I gained more weight than I should have, ate way too much ramen (I was pregnant with a boy, after all, and he might as well have been a college guy as he came out the size of a line-backer), and was a cranky and tired mess. Perhaps that’s just pregnancy, but I’m going to try a five new things:
© rohappy / Dollar Photo Club
I will strive to only do things I consider beautiful or useful. Like the way people manage the clutter in their house, they strive to only keep possessions they consider beautiful or useful. I’m hoping to do the same in my daily life—not using pregnancy as an excuse to binge watch Sister Wives, but perhaps to pray, read, sleep, or talk to a real human when I have a chance to decompress. And when I’m with my kids, not sit idly on my iphone while I supervise them, but talk to them, engage with them, or at least LOOK at them while I work on something else. This does not mean constantly being productive—this only means to do things that will really help me with my short term goals of that moment—help me truly rest, help me work, help me grow in grace, even when I’m uncomfortable.
I’ll only put in my body what is beautiful and useful. Is chocolate beautiful and useful? You’ll bet your sweet a** it is. But I’ll try and stick with only a few pieces, not enough to make me grow a third thigh in addition to a human. I’ll only eat the frivolous stuff to the extent it is useful—in giving me a small treat, a lift, but not a sugar or caffeine high. And just because I may not be in the exact mood for a salad or a sweet potato, doesn’t mean I shouldn’t just suck it up and eat it to nourish myself the right way. I’m hoping this will physically make me feel better overall through the pregnancy. My future child has a whole lifetime to eat a massive bag of Doritos in one sitting—let’s give him/her a chance to start AFTER he/she emerges from the womb.
Reflect OFTEN on how this is a fleeting season. Looking at my first two, my pregnancies with them seem like such a side note. They felt awful during, but look at what we received: beautiful, unique humans who will grow, eventually sleep through the night, eventually won’t poop their pants, eventually won’t need ME at all. This will pass. And it will faster than I realize. I will not be the size of a parade float forever.
I’ll ask for and take help easily. I am pregnant with my third baby. My first two are still very young and needy. I will be very needy. This means there will be days when I will look like the hind leg of a mountain goat and be about as friendly as one if there was an annoying chipmunk behind it. Therefore, I’m going to push my pride aside and accept the help of people around me who offer it, and try to recognize days when I genuinely need to ask for it, and accept it BEFORE the point of desperation.
I’ll forgive myself (and others) easily. I won’t hit all my goals every day. I’m knocked up. It’s okay. Also, those around me won’t be able to read my mind. I’ll probably be an irritable grump that may be an irritable grump to those around me. But instead of being a crotchety pregnant lady, asking for grace in the times where I want to be mad at someone close to me.
Hopefully my resolution will last more than a week before I dive off the deep end into a kiddie pool of ramen noodles and the last 40 seasons of Gilmore Girls, but I’d appreciate your prayers as I grow this next kiddo.
Anyone have any words of wisdom on raising three? Something beautiful to tell Anna?